Why am I Living This Way?

I write this with a heart heavy with so many things, I cannot even begin to describe them. I feel am being lead and pushed so strongly, yet I cannot define what all is going on in me. So many times, it seems, I come to this point, and wonder if I will ever find the answers I need. I can’t do the things I want to do.
I feel trapped by my feelings and not going anywhere. It’s like my feet are stuck in quicksand and I can’t get out. I am not able to grow nor move forward from this state that I am in.
I am so full of guilt- for the things I have done, the thoughts I have had and still have. I have so many things to clean up and out of my life before I can go any further. It becomes so overwhelming, I wonder if I will ever get anywhere but where I am right now.
So many things weigh me down; so many areas I cannot get a handle on. I worry about what damage I have already done, and the things in my life that I cannot seem to get under control. Many nights I lay awake with so much on my heart and mind that sleep is impossible. My days are heavy with worry and such weariness. I long for some peace, but it escapes me.
I have so many questions and doubts. Where can I ever get all the answers I need when I am not even sure of the questions?? I need wisdom yet, am feeling so ignorant. I need help but don’t even know where to go for it.......